I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
