His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
