im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
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