Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
