do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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