this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
