Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
