No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
