he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
