were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize