I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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