But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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