If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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