Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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