would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
