i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
sarcasm needs its own font
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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