I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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