so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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