I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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