Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
This baby is an asshole
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
