Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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