There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
it was like eating out sand paper
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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