Where are you?
In a non slutty way
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
