my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
