morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
