We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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