and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
