I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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