please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
