remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize