2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize