one might say we're banned from that church
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
