this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
