why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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