If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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