ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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