I'm jealous of your bromance
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
