I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
