So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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