fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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