Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize