Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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