Having a random hookup so left but love u
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
