i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
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He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
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We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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