Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
