Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
