I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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