covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize