this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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