FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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