how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
