fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
