I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
