went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
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Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Success! We fucked roommates!
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