You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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