1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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