So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
