dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
