I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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