What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
