She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
