Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Are we still banned from the library?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Randomize
