so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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