I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
